ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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