Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
