just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
