You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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