I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
