So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
