This girl is more easily done than said...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
