I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He felt like a one man threesome
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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