i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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