Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Still dying that you shit outside
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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