so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize