I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
And then he peed in my hair
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