You're my little dorito
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize