It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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