nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
