Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
