I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
