Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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