u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
