I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
