I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
