Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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