what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
