come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We're too hungover to prance.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
