Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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