i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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