omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
even my farts smell like vagina
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
