The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm always down for nudity.
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