Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize