.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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