Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
