FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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