How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We need to get me chipped asap
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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