We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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