Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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