Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
