She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
