is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm always down for nudity.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
