these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize