GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
