the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
