What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
