just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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