the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You made out with two different species that night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
