your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
