so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
