No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
