my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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