Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
