i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
