i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
