I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
