ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
