Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
found the other keg... it's in the tree
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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