What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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