Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
