do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
