when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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