Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
