I'm going to jail i love you
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
