"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
