The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
